Why would God run?

One of my favorite songs of all time is by Phillips, Craig and Dean. It's calle When God Ran. These are a part of the lyrics. Just thinking about them gives me goosebumps.

P \ Phillips, Craig And Dean \ When God Ran

Almighty God, the great I am Immovable rock, omnipotent, powerful, awesome Lord Victorious warrior, commanding King of Kings Mighty conqueror, and the only time the only time I ever saw Him run

Was when He ran to me, He took me in His arms Held my head to His chest, said “My son’s come home again” Lifted my face, wiped the tears from my eyes With forgiveness in His voice He said,“Son do you know I still love you?” He caught me by surprise when God ran

The day I left home I knew I’d broken His heart And I wondered then if things could ever be the same Then one night I remembered His love for me And down that dusty road ahead I could see It was the only time – it was the only time I ever saw Him run

I was so ashamed, all alone and so far away But now I know He’s been waiting for this day

One of the best things in life.

There have been several of my favorite shows on TV recently which have used Bipolar disorder as a portion of the major plot. I will say that the portrayals seemed quite fair to me, though they were showing the classic very high/very low BP1. The idea that the producers were trying to get across is that having a mental illness does not mean that you are crazy, you have a treatable illness.

Myself, I have BP2. I have been on medication for quite a few years. Like a diabetic, I will be on medication for the rest of my life to balance normal chemical levels - of which mine are out of kilter, in my body. The organ in my body which happens to be involved is not my pancreas, it is my brain.

Like "normal" people, I have good days and bad; a good mood for me is no different than anyone else's. As well, like anyone else I willo grive deeply for the loss of my beloved pet.
Where I see the biggest difference is that years ago- pre medication, I would have been non-functional for weeks; now I am really sad for a few days and then, though I still feel a bit sad, I can get on with life and most of the regular things that I do on any given day.

Having said all of this, I do wonder: why, if a person has a chronic physical illness of almost any part of the body, do people not look at them funny, but whenever that part of the body is north of the neck, it is seen as a deep character flaw? I am not crazy to the legal term of the word, but I am a bit of a nut case; just ask anyone who knows me well. Crazy is a person who has an ilness of any kind and does not do everything that they can to have a quality of life which allows them to function and be happy with the rest of the world.

Realistically, I don't know if I will ever be a missionary in a country outside of North America for any long term assignment. I am not confident in the medical care I would be able to access. In the same vein, a person with severe mobility problems - like my Aunt with MS, would have the same problem.

My life has changed; my goals have been adjusted, but in the long haul I can really see the hand of God in this. Without this thorn in my flesh, I might be less able to truly empathise with a person who has a similar ailment or who is unfairly seen as inferior because they are being judged on something which is neither their own fault and not something which truly has a negative impact on who they are as a person. Without this, I could not have the voice that I do to speak up for those who still live in shame of the stigma of mental illness. Without this, I could not recieve the blessing of such an amazing husband who not only puts up with my quirks, but also is my rock through my storms. As well, without this, I could never shout to the stars of God's mercy and grace in giving me hope, strength and purpose as a woman who can see His providence through the lies of the deciever.

For these and many other reasons, My illness has actually become one of the greatest things in my life.

I'm having a bad day

Ever have one of those days???

You know the kind - you look at your life's work and feel like you're a total failure at it; your home's a mess; your kids are always fighting and driving you nuts; your spouse is experiencing stress at his/her work; you have to put your dog down because she has lung cancer, and for the life of you, though you know that she'll be better off, you don't want to do it.

No, not you? Well maybe it's just me. I suppose that it doesn't help that I haven't been able to sleep, listening to Kady have a tough time breathing throughout the night.

She's been my dog for 12 years, almost as long as I've married. I put on myself to be totally strong in front of the kids so that they can see my strength and feel stronger - though I know that it is a fallacy. I've kept myself so busy over the past few weeks that I've been able ot be in denial over the pain for the most part, but today I can't do it anymore.